I just had another experience that’s been happening more frequently lately: A clumsy informant approaches me with flattery and feigned interest in politics and philosophy, then makes a bold and ridiculous statement, usually about how they “want to kill the President” or “make a bomb” or something equally reckless, and they try to draw me into their verbal trap.
I offer the following self criticisms and confessions: I regret that I have never, and never will plan or attempt any kind of violence to any politician, ever. I don’t want to kill the President, I don’t want to kill any past President, not even Trump, and I am ashamed of my cowardice on this subject. I offer this as a self criticism. Also, in Syria I did not actually shoot anyone, despite my previously bragging the opposite. I just wanted to be a medic and I was assigned to carry the sniper rifle. I intentionally missed every time I shot at ISIS Jihadis. My only goal was to drive them away while treating the wounded and leading civilians to safety.
For most of my life I’ve lived like a Buddhist monk, and that’s how I intend to spend the rest of my life. I may give my ideological support to freedom fighters and be a medic for them if I can, but I will be under intense scrutiny and observation, for life. Any hypothetical plot involving me would be doomed to failure. I can’t fight your battles for you.
If you want to do any direct action the keep it to yourself. If you want to lose a battle, than talk about it first. I’ve had undercovers and informants trying to bait me into fictional schemes to trap me for years. One tried to get me to discuss “robbing a bank”. Another tried to get me to say things about explosives and politicians. I have zero interest in such plots and I’m extremely suspicious of flattery, planned violence and strangers. In general I’m very lazy and peaceful, I just want to garden and do yoga.
Governments who fail to protect kids, because they are scared of school shooters, also criminalize otherwise harmless people, like myself, and parents of children being shot by school shooters. Cops need to justify bloated budgets by manufacturing crimes where there otherwise would be none. Don’t approach me with your wingnut plots. Anyone who does is a cop, a snitch, or an idiot.
For the rest of my life I will be laying low, staying out of trouble and living a peaceful life on non-violence. I’ll continue to be reading and writing, feeding people, being a medic and a caretaker. There is no plot to do anything violent, just a constant stream of criticism for all authority figures and mutual aid for political prisoners. So, if I’m brought up on charges in the future know that it’s a set up, and that right now, today in this prison, FCI Memphis, people working for cops and federal agents are still trying to bait me into false charges. To them I say: Leave me alone! Stop harassing me! I just want to live a quiet life!
I won’t be carrying guns or weapons. I don’t, and won’t and have never sold drugs. I forgive you feds and cops and lawyers. I don’t want revenge for you locking me up. All I want is to realize enlightenment and liberation while helping others through community service. To my more militant friends, I say “don’t talk about it, be about it” and “the medium is the message”. But, leave me out of it because I am being followed and watched, as are all people who have been to prison, especially federal prison.
To sum up this current situation, this government is continuing to try to set me up and accuse me of even more false charges. Please spread the word and raise awareness of this strategy. Help me and watch out for this in your lives. I’ll be sending this message out via email, snail mail, and by telephone. Even today I was approached by an informant who tried to bait me into saying terrible and ridiculous things. All of this is beyond me. I am a simple person and I want no part of any violence or deception.
Living a simple, honest, nonviolent life of growing fruits and vegetables and providing basic first aid and medical care is my life’s goal, along with the priority of yoga and meditation. I am retired from direct actions and I never did much in that arena anyway, which makes my imprisonment that much more ridiculous.
I have been all big talk in the past to dissuade bullies, but now I am afraid to exercise free speech in this country. I am even afraid to defend myself. I offer my forced silence and non-violence as a self criticism. I have no rights. The police and feds have ruined my life.